hazyIntimate relationships can present some of the biggest challenges we might face. Ambivalence, longing, conflict, obsessiveness, heightened emotional states and difficulties with communication and satisfying togetherness are all commonly found in most relationships.

In some relationships however, such states can persist and lead to profound and chronic unhappiness, together with a feeling of powerlessness to do anything about it. A very common thing I hear is that 'whenever we try to sort it out, it only makes it worse.'

It can be most difficult, or even impossible for a couple in an entrenched and unhappy relationship to resolve the situation alone and unfortunately, this can progress to a separation or divorce before other possibilites have been explored. There are times where a couple may rightly decide that a relationship has run its course but equally, it may also be worth seeking help to decide whether this is indeed the case.

Over the years I have worked with many couples using a combination of psychotherapy and mediation techniques that have often proved to be effective. Mediation techniques can help to clarify the problems and offer possibilities for realistic and acceptable solutions. On the other hand, the psychotherapeutic element will address the more personal, emotional and psychological, issues that often resist and sabotage the mediation based solutions. My experience is that employing a combination of both approaches often leads to sustainable changes which are acceptable to both people. Moreover, this can lead to a resolution of the entrenched conflict and a transformed, more sustainable and satisfying relationship can emerge. Alternately, following the work together it may be that a decision is made to end the relationship - in this event the therapy/mediation can assist in encouraging a completion of the separation and prevent harmful unfinished business being carried into the future.

If you think I might be able to help with your relationship difficulties, please contact me to talk it over through the details on the 'contact' pages of this site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo of John

John Waterston, MA

UKCP accredited
Psychotherapist

UKCP